THE PERFECT DAY – January 20, 2017
1. President Marco Rubio and Vice President
Carly Fiorina are sworn into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day,
Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and
unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director
of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group
of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services
for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating
Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs for public healthcare are
reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced
by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in
the U.S improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed department of Homeland
Security Chief Donald Trump announces the immediate deployment of Troops to the
U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation
of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New
bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every American citizen.
Birthright is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat
to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves
American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are
closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development
Ted Cruz eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under
the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government
Finance Rand Paul announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the
new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist
of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers
billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs. Her cell is
directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for
‘Hate Crimes". She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell
in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where
he belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman
Schultz, Chris Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at ten and
discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout the
world. They also wonder when the "Mothership" is going to pick them up and
return them to their home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is
designed for humans, doesn’t try to satisfy the needs of every person on the
planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just
like Windows 7 except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under
cover of darkness and returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for
treason begins. He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he
was last seen wandering through the jungle singing "Hakuna Matata" with a chimp
named Commie.
10. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and
fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.
12. A committee is not established to determine what is causing
global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
14. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge
blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.
And this my friends constitutes THE PERFECT DAY!!!!!!
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