Charities I support
Sexual Harassment
The Cain sexual harassment charge makes everyone uncomfortable. (Let me say that I don’t know what the facts are—neither do members of the media.) Women are socialized to be concerned about being victims. Men are ever concerned about being falsely accused. In too many offices today, women have felt free to make mild sexual jokes, flirt in a teasing way, to comment on sexual things or stories, and to banter in ways that their male colleagues dare not respond to. It has happened to me fairly often. A man knows anything he says may come back to bite him. A woman knows that she has to be far over the line before she will be called on it. Even calling a woman on a sexual remark might make her "uncomfortable." Back in the 1990s, I managed an office. An older, beloved former boss came in and said, in front of a female staffer, "This is one sexy little broad." "I think I hear a sexual harassment suit being filed," I said. "The female staff member looked me in the eye and said, "It depends on who says it." Warning shot detected. The same conduct may be okay from a person they like, but the subject of action if they don't like the guy. The crime of creating a hostile environment--as opposed to quid pro quo sexual blackmail--is a crime that happens in the mind of the victim. And it may not be a crime there until later, when she develops a grudge on an unrelated, non-sexual issue. No one wants hostile environments, with boors making women uncomfortable with jokes and comments that are over the line. But I've seen women make similar, sexual banter to tease a response out of an unwary male, then nail him. So I don't know what the solution is. More dollars for lawyers, I guess. ~Bob.