THE BABYLON BEE

 

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A message from Power Life Nutrition Celebrity Trainer Unveils New Way to Stay Strong For All Americans - Without Exercise Nobody likes getting older because our muscles become weaker, making the activities we used to enjoy more difficult to do. But what if you didn't have to get weaker? What if you could become stronger? "It's actually a lot simpler than you might think," Celebrity fitness trainer Tony Horton, who is 61, told us. "It's a method anyone can do that takes about one or two minutes a day." He says he's found a much more effective way to fight age-related muscle loss - that has nothing to do with exercise. Click Here To Learn More Due To Gas Prices, Next 'Fast & Furious' Movie Will Be About Bicycles Feminist Changes Mind As WW3 Kicks Off Obama Releases New Memoir About Time He Caught COVID Yesterday Adorable: This Chevy Avalanche Owner Keeps Referring To It As A 'Truck' Sea Creatures Looking Forward To Wearing Discarded Masks For Next Few Million Years You Might Like Planned Parenthood Adds Gender Surgery Services So They Can Carve Up Kids After Birth Too Babylon's Best Are you prepared for the coming food shortages? Few people are. Most families have less than a week’s worth of food on hand. Don’t be a victim. Grab some long-term emergency food storage before you can’t! This delicious food stays fresh for up to 25 years, so it’s ready when you need it. Many sizes of food kits to choose from. Prepare today so you can survive tomorrow. MyPatriotSupply.com* Tired of working out at the gym day after day with no results? Try the Quadropress. You can work out in the garage, living room, or even better, the kitchen, so you can pound your protein drink right after. Quadropress aligns your hands to ensure you're doing pushups right -- no more wasted energy. Check it out today!* Shoot your gun in the house. Good marksmanship is a diminishing skill that requires regular practice to maintain. The iTarget Pro Laser Training System allows you to safely practice shooting your firearm using our app and laser bullet! Train like the pros, all from the comfort of your own home! Click here to get 10% off your order today!* *This is sponsored content.