THE BABYLON BEE

 

Another glorious week of fake news you can trust! Mattel unveiled their brand new pregnant Ken doll! Neat! Also, legendary party animal Justice Kavanaugh threw a kegger to calm the rioters outside his house, Starving babies disguised themselves as Ukrainian soldiers, and Johnny Depp figured out how to make Amber Heard stop pooping on his bed! PLUS: We bring you a list of things Elon Musk needs to buy and fix, our 9 rules of gun safety, and the soon-to-be-award-winning song "We Don't Talk About China":  It's The Babylon Bee Week in Review! Mattel Unveils New Pregnant Ken Doll EL SEGUNDO, CA—This morning, Mattel announced the launch of a new Barbie-themed toy: a pregnant Ken doll. The move has been hailed as an exciting step forward for trans inclusion...  Read more The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"! We Don't Talk About China (Song Parody) Female James Bond Ruins Car Chase Scenes By Stopping And Asking For Directions FBI Sternly Warns Mob At Justice Kavanaugh's Home To Stay Away From School Board Member's House Next Door

Here Are Some More Things Elon Musk Should Buy And Fix Orthodox Star Wars Fans Prepare To Celebrate 'May The 11th Be With You' Starving American Babies Disguise Selves As Ukrainian Soldiers In Hopes Of Getting $40 Billion In Federal Aid Kavanaugh Eases Tensions With Protesters By Throwing Good, Old-Fashioned Kegger Johnny Depp Installs Bird Spikes To Prevent Amber Heard From Pooping On Bed The Babylon Bee Presents: 9 Rules Of Gun Safety After Absorbing All His Haters' Powers, Trump Evolves Into Ultra MAGA Man SCOTUS Justices Seek Protection From Mobs By Lighting The Rittenhouse Signal 484-Year-Old Methuselah Goes Through Midlife Crisis, Purchases Expensive Convertible Sports Camel Trump Crowned MAGA King After Pulling Rittenhouse's AR-15 From Stone