WHO AM I?

Submitted by: Chuck Baumann

As a man, I used to think I was a regular person, but I was born white,
which now, whether I like it  or not, makes me a racist & responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal & moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.

I went to High School, worked through college, got a degree & have held a job.  

I am not here because I earned it, but because I was advantaged.

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class & ally of big business.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I am older than 65 & retired, making me a useless old man who doesn't understand Facebook.

I think & I reason, so I doubt what mainstream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage & our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.

I value my safety & that of my family, & I appreciate the police & the legal system,
making me a right-wing, cop loving extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, & fair compensation according to each individual's merits,
which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort - not freedom of outcome or subsidies
which must make me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defense & protection of America for & by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for, & the many who died to let it fly, so I stand & salute
during our National Anthem, taking me back where I started - I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!

I thank my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, newfound changes to my thinking! 
I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!
Funny - it all took place over the last 7 or 8 years! 

If all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with, now I don't even know which restroom to use!