Dear
Hollywood
celebrities,
It’s
time to wake
up now. Get
this! The
only reason
you exist is
for my
entertainment.
Some of you
are
beautiful.
Some of you
can deliver a
line with such
conviction
that you bring
tears to my
eyes. Some of
you are so
convincing
that you scare
the crap out
of me. And
others are so
funny you can
make me laugh
uncontrollably. And others make music that makes my toe tap and my body
sway.
But
you all have
one thing in
common. You
only exist and
have a place
in my world to
entertain me.
That’s it.
Nothing else!
You
make your
living
pretending to
be someone
else. You
play dress-up
like a
5-year-old.
Your world is
a make believe
world. It is
not real. It
doesn’t
exist. You
live for the
camera and
microphone,
while the rest
of us live in
the real
world. Your
entire
existence
depends on my
patronage. I
crank the
organ grinder,
and you dance.
Therefore,
I don’t care
where you
stand on
issues.
Honestly, your
opinion means
nothing to
me. Just
because you
had a lead
role in a
movie about
prostitution
doesn’t mean
you know what
it’s like to
be a
prostitute.
Because you
show a breast
at a halftime
football show
while singing
off key,
doesn't make
you a world
spokesperson.
Your view
matters far
less to me
than that of a
someone living
in Timbuktu .
Believe
me or not, the
hard truth is
that you
aren’t real.
I turn off my
TV or shut
down my
computer or
turn off my
radio, and you
cease to
exist. Once I
am done with
you, I go back
to the real
world until I
want you to
entertain me
again.
I
don’t care
that you think
BP executives
deserve the
death
penalty. I
don’t care
what you think
about the
environment.
I don’t care
if you believe
fracking is
bad. I don’t
care if you
call for more
gun control.
I don’t care
if you believe
in
catastrophic
human-induced
global
warming. And
I could care
less that you
supported
Hillary for
President.
Get back into
your bubble.
I’ll let you
know when I’m
in the mood
for something
pretty or
scary or
funny.
And
one other
thing. What
was with all
this “I’ll
leave the
country if
Donald Trump
wins”? Don’t
you know how
stupid that
made you
sound? What
did you think
my reaction
was going to
be? I better
not vote for
Trump or we’ll
lose Whoopi
Goldberg? Al
Sharpton? Amy
Schumer?
Bruce
Springsteen?
or Barbara
Striestand?And
several more.
Leave. I
don’t care!
And don’t let
the door hit
you in the ass
on your way
out. Oh by
the way, is
Clinton
returning any
of the money
you so
generously
donated to her
election?
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