THE BABYLON BEE

 

7 Tips For Keeping Your Kids Safe When They Have A Handheld Device Giving Them Unfettered Access To Porn So, you got your kid a smartphone. Oops! Big mistake there! Well, now that your child owns a portal providing unfettered access to a smorgasbord of the most horrifically obscene smut the depraved human mind can invent, here are a few foolproof ways to protect your kid!... Read more White House Decorated With Touching Christmas Message 'YOU WILL DIE'

A message from Canopy Before they turn 13, the average American kid has seen hardcore pornography. That’s unacceptable, but our society doesn’t do enough to stop it. Anyone with an internet connection can instantly access infinite pornography for free. It used to be hard to find. Now it’s hard to avoid. For many kids, their first accidental exposure to porn is the beginning of a lifelong struggle with the negative consequences of habitual use - They deserve better. We built Canopy, an internet filtering app powered by artificial intelligence, to protect the hearts and minds of the next generation by blocking pornography on every single website. Take control of your family's internet experience - Don’t let algorithms and strangers decide what your kid sees online. Give your family a safer internet. Click here to try Canopy free for 30 days. Political Party That Encouraged People To Commit Crimes Surprised At All The People Committing Crimes Southwest Introduces New Boarding Procedure Where Everyone Is Given A Melee Weapon And You Just Sort It Out Amongst Yourselves Op-Ed: Die Hard Is NOT A Christmas Movie FBI Arrests Notorious Art Thief Who Illegally Right-Clicked And Downloaded An NFT Biden Pauses Student Loan Payments Since ‘We’ll All Be Dead Soon Anyway’ Babylon's Best Don’t allow the collapse of Western Civilization. George Orwell’s Animal Farm was a warning about socialism in the 1940s. Bob Zeidman’s Animal Lab is a new warning about “democratic socialism” for today. Get your copy before it’s banned.* The Tuttle Twins are under attack. The Tuttle Twins are teaching kids about the ideas of liberty, free enterprise, and responsibility. And socialists are attacking them online! Help them fight back and send a book to a family today.* *This is sponsored content.