BABYLON BEE 07/10/2021

 

The FBI has seized a deadly lego set that may provide clues to the insurrectionists' next target, the treasury has announced they are minting a new Biden coin, J.R.R. Tolkien has arrived with an army of the dead, and Biden is sending out vaccine missionaries: it's The Babylon Bee Week in Review! Treasury Announces Minting Of New Biden Coin Worth Sixteen Cents WASHINGTON, D.C.—To commemorate Biden securing a 16 cent savings on barbecue expenses for every American this year, the U.S. Treasury has announced the minting of a new 16 cent coin featuring Biden's likeness stamped on them. Read more Follow Sally Knuckles as she chronicles her inability to do anything now that no man will mansplain to her. Mansplaining Down But Woman Confusion Up Based On LEGO Evidence, FBI Believes Capitol Rioter Was Also Planning Attack On Hogwarts Castle Journalists Facing Slow News Day As Biden Has Not Eaten Ice Cream Yet Updated Death Certificates Require Choosing Between COVID, Climate Change, Or Systemic Racism As Cause Of Death

AOC Donates Casket She Was Buried In After Being Killed On January 6th To Smithsonian J.R.R. Tolkien Returns With Army Of The Dead To Destroy Everyone Trying To Make 'Lord Of The Rings' Woke Biden, Psaki To Go Door To Door On Bikes Asking If You Have A Moment To Talk About Getting Vaccinated