"Donald Trump Makes Obama Walk the
Plank"
from "In Defense of Rural
America"
By Ron
Ewart, President
National Association of Rural
Landowners
and
nationally recognized author and speaker on freedom and property rights
issues.
© Copyright Sunday, January
18, 2015 - All Rights Reserved
An Experiment in
Satire
(Refer to disclaimer at end of
article)
We will return to our articles on corruption next
week,
This article is also available on our website
at: http://www.narlo.org/plank.pdf
SCENE 1: We enter the
scene as Commodore Trump ushers President Obama out onto the plank in
preparation for his jump into Davy Jone's Locker. President Obama was brought on
board the USS Bill Ayers for trial at sea because the Congress would not impeach
him. Walking the plank is the punishment meted out to the President by the
officers of the ship, resulting from multiple and repeated violations of the law
and an utter disregard for the Constitution. Senator's Reid and
Congresswoman Pelosi came aboard as seconds for the President, but have been
tied to the main mast as punishment for constant and irreverent interruptions at
Obama's sea trial. Midshipman Clinton has been designated to inflict
additional punishment on Reid and Pelosi, if it becomes necessary.
Commander Romney holds up the scroll of charges against President Obama in
preparation for reading them out loud to the officers and crew before sending
Obama to the deep. Commodore Trump is about to issue further orders to the
crew as the scene unfolds.
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Commodore Trump: "President
Obama, stand where you are and don't move! Quartermaster, direct the
helmsman to make way at top speed for the deepest waters in the ocean,
preferably where there are schools of sharks. All seaman hop to and
raise all sails on the main and mizzen masts, make
fast the jibs, powder monkeys stand down, stow the grog and ……
"
(Just then Senator Reid interrupts the Commodore mid
sentence)
Senator Reid
: "This is an outrage Commodore
and I protest in the strongest terms against this extreme punishment of
President Obama. The President thought he was well within in his rights to
do what he did. His czars told him he could."
Commodore Trump:
"Midshipman Clinton, if
Senator Reid opens his mouth again give him a couple of whacks on his dumbie
with the "cat." If that doesn't work, stuff a gag in his mouth."
(Congresswoman Pelosi starts to open her mouth but
then closes it abruptly as Midshipman Clinton reluctantly raises the "cat" above
her head. The ship is now headed out to the deep sea at flank speed, with
all sails snapped taught in the wind. After the ship reaches the deep
ocean, the sails are trimmed and the ship lies adrift on the surface, Commodore
Trump speaks.)
Commodore Trump:
"All hands listen up where
you stand. Commander Romney, are you prepared to read the charges against
the President?"
Commander Romney:
"Yes Commodore but there are
almost 100 of them. Do you want me to read them all?"
Commodore Trump:
"Yes, yes, shiver me timbers
lad, get on with it! I'll interrupt you if I think it's necessary.
Proceed and be quick about it and don't be a drivelswigger!"
Commander Romney:
"Yes Commodore. President
Obama, as you await your punishment, the three senior officers of the USS Bill
Ayers, after hearing all of the evidence against you in a fair trial at sea, in
a unanimous vote, have found you guilty as charged for the following
crimes."
"1.
Appointment of a shadow tribunal of
officers (you called them 'czars') who were not approved by the Congress or the
Commodore and myself, yet this secret tribunal had overarching regulatory powers
over all other senators, congressmen and the justices, a clear violation of the
constitution."
"2.
You received no approval from the Congress
or the senior officers of this ship for your attack on Libya in violation of the
War Powers Act. Y ou lied to the Congress and the senior officers and crew when
you said that there were no troops on the ground there, when in fact there were
several thousand on shore. You continue to cover up the attack on our
embassy in Benghazi where our Ambassador and 3 brave men died
needlessly."
"3.
You have betrayed the allies of our
nation, Israel and Great Britain and placed the security of those allies in
grave danger. You increased funding to the Palestinian Authority while you
have entered into a pact with the terrorist group Hamas and the disclosure of
British nuclear secrets to the Russians. You even gave missile codes to
British Trident missiles to Putin."
"4.
By your Dream Act Executive Order you have
encouraged tens of thousands of illegal children and adults to cross our
borders. Your current executive order that will give legal status to 5
million illegal aliens already here only create another magnet for more
crossings. What are we to do with them? How will we feed them?
Who is going to pay for their care? Millions of Americans could lose their
jobs and go hungry because of your illegal actions. And worse, you have
added more debt to this nation's already un-payable debt."
"5.
You have telegraphed confidential and
classified information to our enemies against the consult of your senior
officers – while embracing negotiations with our enemies, Iran, the Taliban, and
the Muslim Brotherhood. That's treason!"
"6.
You and U. S. Attorney General Holder,
betrayed the citizens of Arizona and forced upon them a great burden by not
allowing them to secure their borders against this illegal invasion that you
alone created. You and Holder conspired against several other states and
deprived them of their autonomy and burdened them with greater costs, in
violation of the 10th Amendment."
"7.
You have engaged in cover-ups of illegally
selling arms to our enemies and Mexican drug lords with the back door intent to
disarm the American population. You have used the IRS as a political
weapon against those who oppose your policies."
"8.
You have negotiated bad deals with our
enemies where are enemies get the goodies and America gets nothing in
return."
"9.
Evidence was presented at trial that your
previous associates were domestic terrorists that you associated with before
becoming President. You ordered that this ship be named after one of those
terrorists."
"10.
You have purposely ignored constitutional
laws that you swore on oath to uphold, by providing special treatment to your
friends and campaign contributors, changing laws, choosing winners and losers
and triggering racism, animosity, jealousy and division within the
Nation."
Commander Romney Pauses:
"There is more
Commodore. Do you want me to continue? Some of these charges are
really juicy."
Commodore Trump:
No, No, No, we've heard
enough Commander. Enter the rest of the charges in the ship's log and send
a copy by carrier pigeon to Congress. President Obama, you have heard the
charges against you. Do you have any last words before your sentence is
carried out?"
President Obama:
"I have many last words
Commodore and it should only take me about four hours to sum up my objections
and complaints. I have never lied to the American people and I have always
consulted with my czars before I made any decisions. If it's anyone's
fault, it's my czars' fault, not mine. And further, go back through the
records and you will find that the previous President, I believe his name was
Bush, did the same things for which I have been accused. He wasn't forced
to walk the plank. So it must be the previous President's fault as
well. This whole trial and punishment for these alleged phony crimes, is a
sham and a travesty of justice. There's not a smidgeon of substance to the
charges. When I get out of this I'm going to file a formal complaint with
the DC Circuit Court. I have friends on that court. They will overturn the
fraudulent decision of this kangaroo trial and …..
(Suddenly, Commodore Trump interrupts the
President.)
Commodore Trump
: "Time's up Mr.
President. You have had your say and like everything else that comes out
of your mouth, it is always someone else's fault and you lie with every breath
you take. I've been told that you and Michelle secretly fly the Jolly
Roger over your bed in the White House. You've hornswaggled the American
people and this crew for the last time. You have brought disgrace to the
presidency. You would have been the first to be fired on the Apprentice
Reality TV Show. Jump into the sea and be done with it or I'll run ye
through with me sword."
(Obama jumps off the plank into the choppy sea
yelling "Allahu Akbar." The last the crew sees of him is his head
bobbing up and down in the wake of the ship disappearing into the distance. A
few sharks suddenly appear, but the President's fate is left to the mysteries of
the briny deep, as the ship sails out of sight.)
Commodore Trump
: "Midshipman Clinton, put
Senator's Reid and Congresswoman Pelosi in irons and shove them down into the
ship's bilge. Let 'em sweat in there for a while. If they survive in the
bilge for a few days, put them on seaman's duties. They've been corrupt
politicians for way too long. Then return to directing the ship's house
keeping. Make those hollystones sing out smartly on the deck."
Midshipman Clinton:
"But Commodore, I
protest? Reid and Pelosi are my comrades and what difference does it
make if the decks are clean?"
Commodore Trump
: "That's an order Midshipman
Clinton! Quit your belly aching and jump to!"
Commander Romney:
"Commodore Trump, I ask the
Commodore for his permission to rename the ship the USS America and scrap
forever from the records, the USS Bill Ayers."
Commodore Trump
: "I agree Commander.
Quartermaster, direct the ship's painter to change the name of the ship to USS
America and so record it in the ship's log. It's high time this ship had a
name for which it can be proud."
Quartermaster:
"Aye, Aye Commodore."
We leave the scene as Commodore Trump returns to his quarters
and Commander Romney climbs to the poop deck. On the rail of the poop
deck, he overlooks the rest of the ship with a gleam in his eye and a crooked
smile on his face. He says to himself, "there is Karma after all."
He barks an order to the Quartermaster to change course and return to
port. To this day the ship's crew and officers and much of America have a
silent dread that somehow Obama will survive the perils of the deep and return
to take control of America under martial law by issuing an executive order for
which he has no legal authority. The thought sends shivers down the spine
of every man on board. A wave of revulsion rumbles through the bowels of
the ship at the possibility of an Obama apparition.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE:
President Obama has
sullied the office of the President of the United States and brought shame and
embarrassment to it. He acts as if he was King but is perceived as a
buffoon. He is arrogant and a narcissist. He is laughed at and
mocked by leaders all around the world for his weakness and lack of leadership,
including both our allies and our enemies. He has insulted and turned his
back on Israel, one of our staunchest allies. He makes diplomatic and
cultural gaffs that are unconscionable. Every single one of his domestic
policies has impeded America's economic and job growth. Like most
socialist policies, Obama's and the Democratic Congress' nationalizing the
health care industry under Obama Care is blatantly unconstitutional, takes
individual control away from private citizens, is egregiously expensive and adds
to an already unsustainable debt. But worse than that, Obama is an
imminent danger to American freedom, security and prosperity.
He should be impeached rather than being forced to walk the plank. Sadly,
neither punishment would seem to fit the crimes he has committed against
America, the American people and the Constitution.
It is not just Obama ladies and gentlemen. Presidents,
politicians, judges and bureaucrats, at all levels of government, have become
systemically corrupt over the last 100 years. Corruption is a flesh-eating
disease that devours liberty. If there was a tried and true method to
expose this corruption and return honor and integrity to government and the
people, which of you will step up to the plate? We will reveal more on
that subject in subsequent articles.
To learn more about the original watercolor painting for this
article and the artist Dave Ewart, log onto http://www.narlo.org/obama_
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DISCLAIMER:
This article is and is meant to be
satire only. Under no circumstances are we advocating violence against the
U. S. president or anyone else for that matter ….. even if they are
liberals.
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Ron Ewart, a nationally known author and
speaker on freedom and property rights issues and author of this weekly column,
"In Defense of Rural America", is the president of the National
Association of Rural Landowners (NARLO) (http://www.narlo.org),
an advocate and consultant for urban and rural
landowners and a non-profit corporation headquartered in Washington
State. He can be reached for comment at info@narlo.org.
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